Grief - The Uninvited Companion of Change

Loss doesn’t leave, it rewrites.

What is there to say about loss that isn’t so profoundly hollow in comparison to the bodily hollow of loss.

Our losses change us. They change our hearts, our heads, our depths and our surfaces. They bring a simultaneous shrinking to our inner most worlds and an expansion of every part of our being. They change the threshold of what we tolerate from others, the ways in which we could previously contain ourselves. They change the priorities, the values, the core of what we thought was important. They reshape the ‘us’ of us—because part of who we were left with them.

-Erin Wasson

Grief - The Uninvited Companion of Change

Grief often arrives unannounced. It slips into our lives in the quiet moments, lingers in the corners of our routines, and settles into the spaces left behind by what—or who—is no longer with us. At Wasson Counselling & Consulting, we honour grief not as something to be “fixed,” but as a meaningful process of transformation. Whether you are grieving a person, a relationship, a dream, a part of your identity, or a life that no longer exists in the way it once did—your grief is valid.

While the word “grief” is most commonly associated with death, it extends far beyond that experience. It touches many aspects of the human condition:

• The grief of divorce or separation

• The loss of physical health or ability

• Estranged family relationships

• Miscarriage and infertility

• Loss of financial security or employment

• The experience of aging

• The loss of an animal companion

• Shifts in identity, belief systems, and role

• Geographic relocations and immigration

• The devastation of crop failure, herd illness, and the emotional toll of living under constant uncertainty

• Even the seemingly invisible grief of “what could have been”

Grief, in all its shapes, speaks to the rupture between how things were and how they are now. And that rupture—no matter how subtle or loud—deserves witness.

The Many Faces of Loss

We sometimes hear clients begin with, “I know it’s not as bad as what others are going through, but…” as if their grief must pass a severity threshold to count. That’s the grief hierarchy talking—an unspoken cultural tendency to rank pain, often leaving those with non-death losses feeling dismissed or ashamed for struggling.

But grief is not a contest. It does not abide by hierarchy or logic. It simply is.

The breakup of a friendship, the loss of cultural connection, watching a loved one change through dementia—these are losses that alter the landscape of our inner world. And yet, so often, we downplay them, hold them quietly, or try to “get over” them quickly in order to resume life as expected.

At WCC, we make room for every type of grief. Because each loss rewrites part of the story of who we are.

How Grief Changes Us

Grief doesn’t just disrupt our emotional landscape—it changes our physiology, our thoughts, our behaviour. Many clients express feeling like they “don’t recognize themselves anymore.” That makes sense. Because loss doesn’t merely take something away—it invites a reshaping of identity.

You might find your priorities shift. You may no longer tolerate things you once allowed. Your friendships may become more intimate or more distant. You may struggle to find joy where it used to live.

All of these are expected. Not easy—but expected.

Grief has a way of rearranging what we value and how we engage with the world. It asks questions we didn’t expect to ask:

Who am I now? What matters to me? What do I need from others? Who is safe? What is worth my energy?

And perhaps most uncomfortably: What does healing even look like when there’s no going back?

The Myth of “Getting Over It”

Culturally, we’ve been taught that grief is a linear process with a beginning, middle, and end. We move through “stages,” we “find closure,” we “heal and move on.”

But real grief is more cyclical than that. It revisits us in waves—sometimes without warning. We may feel okay for days, months, even years, and suddenly be overtaken by a memory, a smell, a season.

Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting or fully detaching. It means learning how to carry the weight differently. Some days that weight feels light and manageable; other days, crushing. That’s not failure. That’s grief doing what it does.

At WCC, we often describe grief as a long-term relationship—one that evolves with time. It may soften in some places and intensify in others. And it doesn’t require you to be “over it” to be okay.

Making Space for Grief in Daily Life

Grief demands spaciousness. In a world that values productivity and forward motion, creating space to feel can be countercultural. But it’s essential.

Here are a few ways we invite clients to honour their losses:

• Create ritual. Light a candle, write a letter, plant a tree, cook their favourite meal—ritual allows meaning to meet mourning.

• Feel what shows up without judgment. Anger, numbness, guilt, relief, longing—grief contains layers. You’re not wrong for what you feel.

• Journal or voice note to yourself. Some truths only emerge when given a safe channel.

• Give grief a time and place. Set a regular time each week to “be with” the grief. Knowing it has a container may ease the fear that it’ll overwhelm.

• Seek community or counselling. You don’t have to go it alone. Talking with others who understand—or professionals who can hold space—can be profoundly healing.

Grief in the Counselling Room

In sessions, we approach grief with tenderness and curiousity. You might come in unsure how to name the ache, unsure whether it “counts.” But together, we unpack the layers.

Often, grief is accompanied by shame, identity confusion, emotional overwhelm, or a sense of isolation. We explore how it lives in your body, your relationships, and your future-thinking. We help you tend to the parts that feel unspeakable.

We don’t rush your process. We don’t prescribe neat timelines. We walk alongside you as you make sense of what this loss means—and who you are becoming.

We also make space for complicated grief—the kind that’s tangled up with trauma, relational harm, or ambiguous endings. Losses without clear closure require even more care and nuance. Whether it’s grieving a parent who was never safe, a friend who ghosted, or a career you thought would bring purpose, your grief is welcome here.

Grief is Love’s Companion

One of the most profound truths about grief is that it exists because love existed. Whether it was love for a person, a version of yourself, a vision of the future—grief honors the bond.

So if your grief feels heavy, long-lasting, relentless—it’s only because the connection mattered. You are not broken for still missing, still longing, still reeling. You are human.

And in our practice, we hold that humanity with reverence.

When to Reach Out

You don’t have to wait until you’re “falling apart” to seek support. Sometimes, just naming the loss aloud can be the beginning of transformation.

Reach out if:

• Your grief feels confusing or stuck

• You’re unsure how to cope or move forward

• You’re grieving something people around you don’t acknowledge

• You’re navigating multiple losses at once

• You want to reorient yourself around who you are now

Wasson Counselling & Consulting is here to walk with you—whether you’re newly grieving or feeling the echoes of old wounds.

We offer counselling that honours your full story, including the chapters shaped by absence.

You are not alone in your grief. And you don’t have to navigate it in silence.

We’ll meet you wherever you are—hollow, reshaped, or expanding still—and offer a space that holds all of it.

If you're seeking grief counselling in Saskatoon or virtually in Saskatchewan, we’re here to support you.

Warmly,

Erin