Counselling
How Couples Counselling can be a game changer for your relationship
Jun 15, 2025
Why couples counselling?
As a couple’s counsellor I am frequently asked when someone should access counselling and why people go in the first place. What seems like a simple question, is actually a complex answer. Many people seek out couples counselling for the reasons you might expect. Marital conflicts, infidelity, parenting challenges, grief and loss, the list goes on. What is important to know is that relationships take work and truthfully no matter how stable - sometimes connecting and communication can break down. Its actually often healthy, motivated and loving relationships that seek out help because the folks within them know there is something special that they want to preserve. For this reason it is so important to recognize that seeking help isn’t a sign of relationship failure - its an attempt at a solution and an investment in the future health of the relationship.
Unfortunately, many couples wait until issues escalate, but working with a skilled couples counsellor can be beneficial at any time in the relationship and much like with any type of care - counselling is especially helpful before things become overwhelming.
Here at WCC we want to make sure that if you’re seeking out couples counselling, we’re clear on your goals which is why we do a detailed initial assessment with every couple we see to ensure that we can provide the care your relationship needs.
Breaking stigma - counselling isn’t just for crisis
Some folks believe that counselling is the last resort for a relationship that is on the brink of collapse and the counselling office becomes the final effort to save an already sinking ship. While this can be true, things are changing. As accessing counselling is becoming more socially acceptable, couples are coming into the office for preventative maintenance or in the early days of trouble - making it far easier on everyone involved to manage unhealthy or ineffective relationship patterns before they become entrenched. Through the process of counselling, couples find that they can strengthen their bonds with one another, improve communication, and help each other rediscover joy in their relationships. Even self-identified “happy couples” benefit by deepening their understanding of one another, expanding their emotional connection and exploring the inner world of their partner.
Benefits of Couples Work
There are many key benefits to couples work. The most highly sought after is often improved communication. Through counselling we work to take an active role in expressing emotions and needs more effectively, talk about healthy conflict resolution, active listening, deep understanding and emotional regulation with a goal of reducing misunderstandings and assumptions. We want to foster curiosity and shared ownership of outcomes in the relationship. Once we have established or reinforced the existing foundation, we want to work on conflict resolution skills including exploring tools to navigate disagreements (especially the perpetual ones) constructively. Ideally we work together to enhance everyone’s ability to manage difficult conversations in a way that de-escalates tensions and focuses on core values and where we can begin to recognize patterns and shift the interactions into a healthier place.
That being said, don’t expect your counsellor to end conflict for you altogether. Conflict is an important part of relationships and when done fairly can be a transformative process that ensures all members of the couple feel heard, understood, and that they are represented in their relationship.
Couples counselling can also help immensely with strengthening emotional and physical intimacy by encouraging open communication about connection and physical intimacy, address issues related to trust and emotional distance, reinforce affection, appreciation and shared experiences and address mismatched expectations.
When couples are healing from betrayal, breaches in communication or broken promises - couples counselling is essential for rebuilding trust. The counselling relationship establishes the steps needed to explore accountability, forgiveness (where possible and not always necessary), rebuilding security and clarifying the future. The process itself allows for transparency while navigating the complex feelings and potential outcomes where couples are trying to decide how or whether to move forward.
Finally, the benefit that we at WCC think sometimes goes the most missed when talking about couples counselling - is that the process can help couples navigate major life changes together. By coming together in the couples counselling work, couples can support decision-making as a team fostering relationship resilience and becoming more adaptable to pressure as a couple. When there are life transitions like moving, career shifts, parenthood, or loss - sometimes they are best navigated together where there is an emphasis on adjusting expectations and maintaining connection.
How to Get the Most out of Your Session
While its true that a fair amount of work happens in the counselling office, in order to make the most out of your couples work, there is an investment in the time between sessions. Couples often want to know what they can do to enhance the work they do in session with their counsellor. Through the counselling process its likely there will be different things you will take home with you to work on however, from a broader lens we recommend the following at WCC:
Same Team Mentality - Approach the work with openness and willingness to work together
Get the Right Counsellor- Find someone who’s approach resonates with everyone involved
Commit to the Process - Commit to implementing the strategies recommended outside the office and police yourself, not your partner
Dig Deep into your Patience- Patterns will have taken time to develop and they will take time to challenge, change is possible.
What are some signs my relationship would benefit from support
I’m certain there is someone reading this who wants a clear-cut list of when and why they should access support, so I will honour that, but please know this isn’t exhaustive and if you are presenting this to your partner as a rationale for why you should both attend, I hope that we’re doing so with an air of self-reflection too. Also know that if you see yourself or your relationship in this list, its probably because you still see something worth fighting for and sometimes that’s the best place to start.
Communication breakdown where conversations feel repetitive, or lead to frequent misunderstandings
You avoid discussing things important to you out of fear of conflict
One or both of you feel unheard or dismissed
Disagreements escalate quickly and feel exhausting
The same issues come up without a mechanism to dialogue about them
You struggle to find common ground or compromise with one another
You have emotional distance and a lack of intimacy
You feel lonely, disconnected or unsupported
Physical affection and intimacy have decreased significantly
Past betrayals, dishonesty, or secrecy create on-going tensions
One or both of you feel insecure or suspicious
Stresses from work, parenting, moving, family dynamics, or grief are present
You’re considering separation or feeling hopeless
What if my partner isn’t ready?
If your partner isn’t ready it can lead to greater feelings of isolation and hopelessness, but fear not because often partners enter couples counselling at different stages of readiness. At WCC we have a few recommendations on this front. First, if counselling is a non-negotiable for you, its important to approach this with your partner gently but firmly. Letting them know that you respect their hesitation, but also be clear about how their unwillingness or ambivalence effects your wellbeing. Avoiding the issue won’t make it disappear so its a good idea to prepare for the conversation in advance and know that if they are not willing, its ok to seek out support just for yourself.
If they are ambivalent or hesitant, its important to try to understand why. Are they worried about judgement or a fear of failure? Are they concerned about the investment of time, money, or emotional vulnerability? Make sure you are also taking this time to communicate why counselling is important for you. Do you want to strengthen the relationship? Not blame or fix them?
Remember you can always start small. Read a relationship book together. Watch some videos or listen to a podcast. Building trust in the process slowly may help to have them feel more open in the future.
Financial Coverage for Sessions
There is no doubt about it, private practice counselling is an investment. Before booking, review your extended health benefits to understand your coverage as different health and wellness plans have limitations on who they will cover. For this reason, its always good to check in advance to see what your benefits cover. Most benefit plans cover registered social workers and psychologists, so have a look so that you can feel assured that you have the financial support you need. Some insurance plans only cover specific types of counsellors, so verifying details in advance can save you financial stress.
Final Thoughts - Investing In relationship
At WCC we don’t look at couples counselling as a quick fix, but it can be life altering. Prioritizing your relationship through counselling demonstrates a commitment to love (past and present) and a desire to seek shared understanding, decision-making, and conflict resolution together. We want to support you in these goals. So whether you are currently facing challenges or want to strengthen your bond, investing in counselling can lead to far deeper happiness, roads to come back together, positive assumptions, and improved communication. We’re honoured to be a part of that process.
Ready to take the next step together?
We offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you explore whether couples counselling at WCC is the right fit for your relationship. There’s no pressure; just a chance to connect, ask questions, and get a sense of what support could look like. In-person sessions are available in Saskatoon, and online sessions are offered to couples across Saskatchewan.
Book your free consultation here
Warmly,
Erin
